THE president of the United States must be at least 35 years old, and born on American soil. I will be at least 40 months old by inauguration day. One cat year equals ten human years, give or take. I have decided that I meet the requirements.
Yes but. Someone pointed out to me the third condition for candidacy. You must also have resided in the States for 14 years (again, I qualify). Only for the president does such a condition apply. Any other politician may be parachuted in from any other country at the eleventh hour, but not the president. Because, so they figured some 250 years ago, then voters have had a chance to see, touch and ask questions of the candidate on the street.
That was before they had debates on TV. That was before I came to America’s rescue.
Everybody knows how I fought a city bus and showed my muscle. Everyone realizes how overnight I became the perfect alternative to two old men. And let’s call a spade a spade: my candidacy was the main reason why at last Joe withdrew. He knew he was no match for so much youthful appeal.
I received an email from Kamala. “Thank you, VanderBus. The nation owes you.”
Was signed, Katmala.
* VanderBus left home at the age of six weeks and went hunting for a city bus in Maine. He caught the bus. It cost him one eye, but he won a standing ovation from everyone who watched him do it. VanderBus, since then mayor of Bicker Hollow, is running for president of the United States.
