THERE are an approximate 600 million cats in the world. Of those, only 220 million live in homes, together with people. The vast majority roam in the wild.
Here is why you care.
Suddenly my fight to become president of the United States has been complicated by a new guy. Bobby Kennedy has joined old man Trump. He is not just weird, he is downright wacko. He goes after animals. Gets photographed barbecuing a dog, then says it was a goat. Dumps a dead bear in Central Park. Cuts the head off a whale with a chainsaw. Admits he has so many skeletons in his closet that he wished they were voters.
Cut the man slack, and he will go bananas on my feral brothers and sisters. It’s the brainworm, his kids and siblings say. He was once diagnosed with a creepy crawler that ate away at his brain.
Duh. DUH!
I am Puss VanderBus, and I am running for president. I promise you, I will lock him up, but you gotta give me the power. Save the wild cats from Bizarro Bobby!
* VanderBus left home at the age of six weeks and went hunting for a city bus in Maine. He caught the bus. It cost him one eye, but he won a standing ovation from everyone who watched him do it. VanderBus, since then mayor of Bicker Hollow, is running for president of the United States.
