by Jeannette Berndsen
MEANWHILE, I have taken up painting again, which is a major step. I hadn’t touched anything for two years, nothing. I find dried out brushes. The first jar I opened was Gesso, completely spoiled. Okay, quickly to the store and muster the courage to put on the first coats. Maybe everything is going to be ok after all.
All this time I was too tired and couldn’t bring myself to paint. An uncomfortable situation when you really want something but just can’t because of fatigue.
I have always been diligent, and in the meantime have done a lot of Spanish and in the last two years have picked up French again. French is now at a higher level than before and I can read books as if they were written in Dutch.
Art is an entirely different thing, it is physically challenging and for a creative mind you also need rest. I have always had ideas, that was not difficult for me, I’m creative enough. The past four years I had more than enough ideas, but not the courage to execute them, and I let it go just as quickly. When the energy runs out, all is lost.
I really thought that this was all, and that I would produce nothing more, but … miracles happen. I started a small project. Courage lost = all lost, turns out that does not apply to me.
I don’t plan to match the pace of previous years, taking it easy is sometimes a good idea.
But my glass is all full again.
* Jeannette Berndsen is an artist in West Palm Beach, Florida.
