I AM NOT in favor of Father’s Day. If it enables retailers to earn an extra buck from it, so be it. But a father is not remotely comparable to a mother.
I don’t know my own father. When my mom plopped me into the world, in one of those membrane sacks she then herself slurped up to keep predators at bay, dad was nowhere to be found. I have seven or eight siblings, never counted them properly, but they are not all from the same father. Dad cats, don’t get me started, deadbeats one and all.
As president, as of next year, I will give all human mothers an extra two weeks of vacation. At the expense of the taxpayers. Go get some rest somewhere, mothers. Totally deserved. Men have no idea how you do it, a pregnancy. Let alone that they know how the actual childbirth….
I’ll go a step further. If men could get pregnant. If men were the ones to spread their legs and push a baby out. It would be the end of sex. They’d walk away from it, avoid it like the plague. Then it was, “If a man says no, it’s not consensual.” And if one did get pregnant after all? Just watch how quickly abortion becomes legal everywhere again.
Happy Mother’s Day, mothers. Vote wisely.
* VanderBus left home at the age of six weeks and went hunting for a city bus in Maine. He caught the bus. It cost him one eye, but he won a standing ovation from everyone who watched him do it. VanderBus, since then mayor of Bicker Hollow, is running for president of the United States.
