Abraham Lincoln had Tabby and Dixie. Martin van Buren had two tiger cubs. And Gerald Ford had a siamese. Got milk? Lincoln’s roots hailed from Hoorn, Van Buren’s from Buurmalsen and Ford’s from Durgerdam, all Dutch towns.
The American voter is ready for change. Some say: it’s time for a woman in the White House. I say: high time for a tomcat. And I propose a constitutional amendment that ensures that regardless of man or cat, you can only become president after you have been neutered. Which automatically means that you must have been seen walking around in public with a cone collar. Saves the nation a lot of BS, hassle, and impeachments, just ask Bill Clinton.
For now, no such amendment is needed for women. They get the benefit of the doubt. Unless they are also a feline, then the scissors will come out. Just as happened to my sisters.
I am the no-nonsense candidate. Where I come from, meow is mandatory fare, even for the police (click for link). And that, voter, I promise to extend to all of America.
