THE European Soccer Championship is coming up. I have my own thoughts. Since America is not allowed to participate, even though our best players all play in Europe, I am sometimes asked what I think of Ronald Cowman.
I am a fan. For I have read that he himself became European champion in 1988. And not only that, but that the Dutch beat Germany that year, in Germany no less. And not only that, but that Ronald scored in that match. And…
After the game, he wiped his ass with a German shirt. In Germany.
Not sportsmanlike, I know. But I have watched the footage, and I love it. I want to do that myself soon when I’m the American president. Not with a soccer shirt, but with a Russian newspaper, with a picture of Putin on the front page.
I’m available for help and counsel, Ronald. Again, the European Championship will be contested in Germany, and ever since Covid, toilet paper supplies there are still not quite wunderbar. Therefore, if…
