I HAVE caught a mouse. Together with Amelia. She is named after Amelia Earhart, but she has nothing in common with her. Except when there’s a mouse in the house. Then she takes off and is almost unstoppable. Except this time. I threw my ass in front of it, and it was mine.
People think that, with my one eye, I can only see half as well as Amelia. Not so. Popeye cats have perfect vision.
But then again, what do you do with a mouse once you get it? I’ve been on that crossroad before. After all, I caught a city bus one day and, once caught, that was the end of the fun right away. So, someone with a sheet of kitchen towel picked it up and threw it out the door. The next morning, at daylight, turned out it was dead.
You ask: what does catching a mouse have to do with wanting to be president of the United States? I say: do any of my very old opponents have any control over their back, stomach and leg muscles, enough to bend down and grab a simple mouse?
If so, I will invite them next year to the White Mouse for a bite. With muisjes, if they insist.
* VanderBus left home at the age of six weeks and went hunting for a city bus in Maine. He caught the bus. It cost him one eye, but he won a standing ovation from everyone who watched him do it. VanderBus, since then mayor of Bicker Hollow, is running for president of the United States.
