DO YOU see what I see? The birds are back in Maine. Not all of them yet, because the hummingbirds are still missing. But I have put up bird feeders outside, and look at them clinging to those birdhouses.
I’m going to be elected president of America this November. Then all this whining about excessive nanny state services will be over. I feed the birds because the birds keep bugs away (they sometimes eat as many as sixty mosquitoes in an hour, which then can’t poke me). They pollinate like bees, in particular the hummingbirds, as a lifeline for plants and crops. They poop parts of the seeds, thus planting new trees and shrubs. Etcetera.
My contribution is to assist in feeding them. That is my welfare payment to them. Their contribution is that they sustain my environment and make it better in ways I could never do myself.
Except for the titmouse and the chickadee, almost all of the birds where I live are migrants. America was built by migrants. We all owe a lot to them, all the way up through today, and counting. As your president, I’m going to drive that truth home, each and every day.
* VanderBus left home at the age of six weeks and went hunting for a city bus in Maine. He caught the bus. It cost him one eye, but he won a standing ovation from everyone who watched him do it. VanderBus, since then mayor of Bicker Hollow, is running for president of the United States.
