by Jan Emous
A quarter of a century ago we met for the first time. I muttered a variation on “Dr. Livingstone, I presume,” and he, my brand-new American brother-in-law, laughed. On our first visit to America, we wanted to know everything about each other and our countries of origin. And it soon became apparent that we agreed on absolutely nothing. He voted for the wrong party, I let myself be bullied by a meddlesome government, he was in favor of gun ownership, I paid ridiculously high taxes. And that was just the tip of an iceberg of disagreements on the big issues.
Exactly the topics people completely bash each other about on so-called social media, where grotesque verbal abuse is rained down by those who apparently live a life of bitterness.
Then again, imagine having a brother-in-law like that. How on earth did we put up with each other for twenty-five years? By laughing. For example, when we drove from east to west through the U.S. with our families in an RV, or motorhome, as the Americans say. When we went to pick up the monster the size of a city bus from the rental company, we were given a half-hour instruction on all the onboard installations. As we drove away, my brother-in-law asked if I had been listening. No, I said. Neither did I, he said. Bellowing with laughter, we drove off the premises. We never understood how to handle the water tanks, but the trip was perfect.
In short, on world affairs we will never agree, but that doesn’t matter. We tease each other about it. I always get told that I live in a communist state, while I tell him that Japanese cars are much better than American ones. We have learned to appreciate each other in the little, the tangible, things. Although he still calls my lawnmower a “toy”. But he’s off the hook. For imagine having a brother-in-law like that. Exactly. If only we all had a brother-in-law like that.
* Dutch journalist Jan Emous has for many years hosted radio shows at Radio Noord Holland and NPO’s Nachtvluchten show on Dutch Radio 1. In Maryland he built Paperback Radio. At 40UP Radio he now hosts Muziek van kust tot kust (click for link).
