PEOPLE ask me: do you really only have one eye? Or: How did you get under that bus?
Duh.
Anyone can get under a bus. That was simple enough, just cross the road as the bus goes by. Harder is to decide to do it, especially if you’re not suicidal.
I’m the opposite of suicidal; I love life. But if you want to become president of America, like me, and you’re tiny, like me, you need to dare to show that you’re not afraid of anything or anyone.
Buses are like the mailman. Dogs and cats have wanted to catch them, for as long as we can remember. So I took off, and I caught my bus, line 20.
You should have heard that applause.
My right eye was half hanging out the socket. A lady in a Subaru got out of her car, picked me up from the center line, tucked me into the armpit of her coat and drove me to the vet. Piece of cake, really. That evening I was carrying a bottomless plastic little bucket around my neck, and had a new home.
Win-win.
* VanderBus left home at the age of six weeks and went hunting for a city bus in Maine. He caught the bus. It cost him one eye, but he won a standing ovation from everyone who watched him do it. VanderBus, since then mayor of Bicker Hollow, is running for president of the United States.
