by Alice Rush
IT IS spring and that brings Mother’s Day, both here and in Holland. I am often moved by the posts of friends on Facebook about their moms. Many have already lost their mothers, and they share their warm memories or thoughts about a mama that was dearly beloved. It’s heartwarming and heartbreaking at the same time. I’m so glad that they had loving relationships with their mothers, and even the mother-daughter or mother-son friendships that grew. I hope that these folks are recreating that same relationship with their own children and that they are going to have a really lovely Mother’s Day.
It must be universally true that it can also be a sad day, for a whole host of reasons. It can’t be easy for women who wanted to be moms and couldn’t, or who lost children. I’m often wished a happy Mother’s Day by a cashier when shopping or by a random acquaintance who doesn’t know that I decided not to be a mom. That’s totally fine, and I wish them the same with a smile. It’s a well-meant wish. I’m sorry that for many it can also be a painful reminder.
In the Netherlands, is it more customary to go out to brunch for the day or is it a nice visit with mom and/or grandmother? I don’t think I was ever there on a Mother’s Day to see my Dutch mother-in-law. Are there always gifts? Gifts as adults are a challenge, but it’s sweet to see the adorable gifts to mom from youngsters, usually something that they made at school, and the memories that get made with Mother’s Day trips or brunches.
My own mother never seemed to like the day. In my younger years, as a teen still living at home, I went to much effort to find her a nice gift that she would enjoy. She would always say that I (we really, I am the youngest of four kids) should not have done anything. She said it with seriousness and mostly without a smile, so I always felt a bit offended. In later years it became more common for us to just purchase flowering plants and put them around the house for her. She always liked that, and the visit meant more than anything. That I can understand. It’s really all about the connection, after all.
* Alice is a Maine realtor and a licensed helicopter and fixed wing pilot. She first met her Dutch husband in Maryland in 2005, and married him four years later.
